Reciprocity and Receiving

I have never seen anyone love with food so powerfully. When she stayed with us she basically put me to shame in the kitchen and on many levels. Like then, I did the same thing and stood next to the stove, in awe, asking about the ingredients in her delicious sauce. Her 10yo son who has a diplomatic skill said “you are both good cooks” but my 9yo said “no, your mom is the wayyy better cook” with his ‘tell it like it is’ skill.

I agreed.

After being so new to this area, I was relishing the gift of feeling so connected to mi nueva amiga, such a truly good person and her sweet familia that I love. Bonded by the fire, our hearts are so open to each other.

Throughout the evening there was mention of a surprise, with hushed whispers. Eventually, as we played Uno, the guys retrieved and delivered a giant steaming pot of ponche. Mi amiga had purchased all the fruits and asked her comadre to prepare it (true village awareness). Pineapple, coconut, apple, guava, prunes, sugarcane, grapes,nance all soaked in a sweet tea of cinnamon and piloncillo/caramelized brown sugar. Deliciousness made even sweeter. All the chopping takes a lot of time so it is a drink reserved for special occasions. It’s hard to capture the heart with which this was presented. All I can say is that I cry just thinking of it.

It had been over 20 years since I drank ponche. A gap which reminded me how hard it was to reconnect with my mother when visiting her at age 16, because I had lost so much of my Spanish in foster care. And how with that loss, I lost much of what I could have learned from her.

To drink warm, brown sugary sweet ponche made with loving intention, to share family stories and to see our children giggling together like long lost primos, was a balm to this grief.

She sent us home with enchiladas, special dried meat from Oaxaca that Sabi loves, MORE delicious ponche, AND an awesome tortilla press similar to the one with which she makes tortilla magic! So much love that I honestly cannot repay. I wished I could convey my gratitude and what this means to me, but I could not, so I sat in the discomfort of receiving that I know many fire affected have felt. And I thought my own Mama is probably smiling upon us. Sending me a lesson right then. Open. Trust. Receive.

From a full heart, I am also grateful to feel what I imagine the reciprocity* of the natural world and innate humanity feel like. The symbiotic way a forest, and all life work together. A giving, a circle, that just wants to continue because it feels right and the heart swells with overflow. A gratitude led sharing. A compulsion. A beautiful loop. An unending blend of amazing fruits of the earth, made intentionally sweeter by each of us, because we can.

(*As so beautifully described by Robin Wall Kimmerer in her book, Braiding Sweetgrass