Dissociation is one of our most accessible ways to cope with trauma. As young children we often could not fight our way out of an abusive or traumatic situation.
Fleeing was also not an option when we were very young.
So our resourceful body, moves into variations of ‘freeze,’ into an escape without escape; dissociation or disconnection.
In my practice, I have heard many resilient stories of how this adaptation saves us. It helps us to get through the overwhelming abuse, violence, neglect, and other forms of chronic trauma. The mind and heart find refuge through disconnection from the physical experience. Many have shared stories of witnessing the events from afar, feeling themselves apart from the event, or spacing out from the event altogether. Some also experience forms of shock/susto and soul loss.
Sometimes these experiences open a crack toward deeper understanding and reliance on the divine. Many have reported being held by ancestors, angels or guides during these times.
As a child moving through my mother’s psychosis then later foster care, dissociation was an essential default of my psyche. And I honor this mechanism, even as I recognize and help others recognize that it no longer serves us.
It is so important to honor your survival self’s ability to be so creative and resilient in the face of harm. To thank this part of you that figured out a way to get through.
And now, when we can create more safety for ourselves, it is also a gift to shift into our Inner Parent self and let the survival self know that they no longer have to disconnect/space out/dissociate.
We can begin the journey of returning to connection.
Even those who have not experienced intense trauma carry various forms of disconnection because our entire system, media, and spiritually bypassing religions are built on this.
Escapes without escapes.
Most plugged in activities can act as, what I call, ‘media assisted dissociation.’
Escape from our feelings without tuning in and taking any life giving action toward beneficial change.
So it is very essential to recognize, with love and compassion, that our bodies and minds have this habit and begin to reclaim true presence.
All the practices we integrate; InnerBonding, TRE, ancestral, spirit and nature connection are all practices to bring us back into connection, spiritually, emotionally and physically.
It is time to let our wounded/survival selves know that it is finally safe to be fully here.
Fully present for all that LIFE has to offer.
We can create a sanctuary within and call ourselves HOME.
(Beautiful art by Malak Mattar)